Talkin' 'bout my generation

This whole week has been about asking all the questions that make my heart and mind explode. My women's study has been about some deep soul searching lately and it has really been enlightening although difficult. In the midst of being in a long term relationship, I often ask if I am just going in vicious circles with the way I relate to people. That is, am I repeating the mistakes of my foremothers/fathers?

Have you ever stopped to think about why you behave a certain way and why? I've been doing that alot lately and on Tuesday night, I had a wonderful conversation with my sister. I asked her what our parents' relationship was like, since I was too young to really remember before my father passed away. Apparently, they were very independent and had little to nothing in common as far as interests. Yet, they shared very common values and had a deep love for their children. (I do remember this latter part.) For some reason, I thought that my father had gone fishing when I was born. In Hong Kong, it was not common for the husband to be present during the birth of their children. Usually the mom in law goes with the new mom. I came into the world in the wee hours of the morning and my sister remember distinctly waking up to a phone call piercing through the dark. She was sleeping on the bamboo mat out in the living room because it was too warm to sleep in the bed. She overheard my father happily receiving a call from his mother telling him that it was a daughter. He told them that it was great news and he'd be by the hospital later. Then, he hung up the phone and said under his breath, "Its lovely to have another daughter."

I couldn't help but get misty-eyed when my sister told me this. It is good, as always, to be wanted. Not only wanted but found essential to someone's life and happiness. Alongside that sentiment, I see how important it is, not just to be valued, but importantly to value others in that same, deep precious way.